Tom Salinsky

DS9 S05E09 The Ascent (). Jake is moving in with a returning Nog on the other side of the station, while Odo is simultaneously escorting Quark to face a Federation grand jury, giving rise to a signature DS9 two-people-in-a-runabout sequence involving Quark’s prediliction for card games and Odo’s dubious taste in literature. They are nearly at their destination when a (very small) bomb cripples their ship, including knocking out the replicator which leaves them stranded on a remote planet with minimal food rations and only one survival suit. There’s some lovely location work as the mismatched pair haul their salvaged transmitter up the side of a mountain (although it’s striking how every habitable planet in the galaxy looks Californian).

This is very serviceable Legolas and Gimli style stuff, if a bit contrived, with the quarrelsome pair gradually establishing common ground as they struggle to survive, and Auberjonois and Shimerman are at the peak of their powers. It’s quite bleak when they come to blows and tumble down the slopes, breaking Odo’s leg in the process. And while intellectually I know they aren’t going to kill off two hugely popular characters in the middle of the fifth series, I can’t see a way out of their predicament, which is thrilling.

Back on the station, Jake discovers that his roommate is a new Nog, up at 0430 to hit the gym, cleaning their living quarters (just on the odd and even-numbered days), showing no interest in Dom-jot or Holosuites. He also tidies up Jake’s spelling and grammar. Even Rom barely recognizes him. So, while the (ex) Changeling and the Ferengi bartender are re-enacting The Lords of the Rings, the human and the Ferengi cadet are re-enacting The Odd Couple. It’s a weird blend but both halves of the story are strong even if they’re playing by very different rules.

VOY S03E11 The Q and the Grey (). Voyager gets the chance to witness a supernova, setting records for the closest observation of such a thing by a Federation vessel. An exhausted Janeway returns to her quarters to discover that Q has come calling and expects the Captain to bear his children. His determination to seduce her extends to pumping Neelix for information, conjuring up returning guest stars like Suzie Plakson and he even feigns sincerity at one point. De Lancie and Mulgrew are a potent combination and this is something new, if not completely unheralded, for the Q character.

Having to play another Q is a tricky ask. Neither Corbin Bernsen nor Gerrit Graham seemed like they genuinely were cut from the same cloth as De Lancie but Plakson manages it very ably. Of less interest is Janeway’s abduction to the Q Continuum which appears to be cos-playing as the American Civil War. That’s a version of the “chaos and upheaval” which the Q are experiencing due to Janeway’s actions regarding Quinn in Death Wish (and explains the supernovae as well).

As with many dreamscape stories, the stuff in the continuum feels somewhat inconsequential and synthetic. The shipboard plot-line is more urgent and compelling but drenched in technobabble. However, Plakson, De Lancie and Fargo’s Harve Presnell keep the bubbles in the champagne and I liked the moment when Q began pleading for the life of his beloved “Kathy”. How come Q never hit on Picard or Sisko though?

VOY S03E12 Macrocosm (). Neelix is having to apologise for the conduct of his hysterical captain to some particularly exotic looking rubber-faces. But when they return, Voyager seems to be adrift in space. After really an awful lot of the two of them wandering around what seems to be a deserted ship, Neelix vanishes into a puddle of sputum while Janeway’s back is turned. Eventually she discovers the Doctor who explains what’s been happening in flashback (during which the tension rather ebbs away).

Commando Janeway is quite a sight (it’s hard to imagine Genevieve Bujold pulling this off) and Alexander Singer shoots the familiar sets with a bit of bravado and dash. Yet again, however, I find that if I imagine any two other Voyager characters placed in the same situation, the story barely changes. There is pleasure to be had in seeing smart people work together to solve problems, but that’s not entirely how we got here and I’m unclear why that’s all we’re getting now.

Still, if what we’re being offered is cheerfully ridiculous action-adventure hijinks, then this is a pretty good example of the type. The mystery is compelling, the solution is unexpected, the stakes feel high and Mulgrew is excellent, if a little more shoot-first-seek-out-new-life-and-new-civilizations-later than my ideal Starfleet captain. I guess this is a Deep Space Nine three but a Voyager four – although the last-minute inclusion of the touchy aliens from the teaser trying to blow up the ship struck me as quite unnecessary and almost cost this one half a star.

For some reason, the Doctor’s program can’t be, or isn’t being, backed-up.

DS9 S05E10 Rapture (). With no explanation, everyone’s in new togs. Well, I say new – they’re the same as the ones that the Enterprise crew (including Worf) were all wearing in First Contact, with grey, quilted shoulders and the division colours relegated to the undershirt, and a striking band on the cuff – maybe my favourite part. It’s another step on the journey away from the tsunami of Technicolor that is The Original Series but the added texture is very helpful, or would be if we had HD restorations of this footage (they look great in the movies). Stranded in the Delta Quadrant, Janeway’s crew doesn’t get wind of Starfleet’s new fashion choices. The change is never mentioned in dialogue and the visiting admiral is still a riot in red.

In the main plot, rather like Richard Dreyfus in Close Encounters, Sisko starts seeing mysterious shapes in his food and this sends him off on a vision quest in Quark’s Holosuites and then a quest to find Bajoran Atlantis, which he does in five minutes flat. At the same time, Bajor is being admitted to the Federation, and Kassidy Yates is returning from jail, so a great many of my least favorite things are coalescing in one story. On the other hand, we get a return visit from Kai Winn for the first time in ages. Her nuanced villainy is always fascinating, and it’s fun that she ends up as Sisko spiritual guide.

I’ve been getting more and more invested in Sisko, and more and more used to Avery Brooks’s performance style – or he’s been getting better and better. But all the talk of prophecy, visions and messiahs generally leaves me cold, and it seems obvious from the jump that the Captain will be cured of his doomsaying before the episode’s end.

DS9 S05E11 The Darkness and the Light (). Like the opening of a spy film, members of Kira’s old resistance cell are being bumped off in a variety of novel ways. Alas Kira’s too pregnant to go and investigate in person, so she sends Dax and Worf, who only come back with a corpse. The remaining survivors save her the trouble and they sneak on to the station, before being offed in turn. Eventually Kira is taken and tied to the railway tracks while her tormentor strokes his waxed moustache. Compared to nuanced villains like Kai Winn and Gul Dukat, Silaran Prin with his disfigured features and his penny-dreadful posturing is pretty one note and boring, so while it’s nice to finally have an episode built around Nana Visitor again, the slow build-up gives way to a lot of hysterical clichés at the end.

VOY S03E13 Fair Trade (). Now we’re out of Talaxian/Kazon space (thank goodness), Neelix’s value as a guide is more open to question, so he’s on a tour of the regular cast trying to find something useful to do. But this teaser just ends with him giving the name of the purple splodge which the ship is approaching, as if supplying a label is in any way helpful. Pointing it out on a star chart before they smacked into it might have been a better use of his local knowledge, which – as noted – I thought had run out by now.

Anyway, unwilling to go around it (because this is a get-home-as-soon-as-possible episode rather than a let’s-stop-and-explore-this-for-as-long-as-we-feel-like episode), Voyager stops on the brink of the Splodge of Purple to pick up supplies and the stage is set for a thrilling round of trade negotiations. Also on the station is another Talaxian, Neelix’s old friend Wixiban. Once again, Voyager’s straight line route from the Caretaker to the Federation is littered with familiar faces. Far from being happy to see him, Neelix is (sigh) furiously jealous that Wix might be of more value to Janeway than he is. Luckily, Wix turns out to be pushing pills and willing to kill fellow drug dealers (albeit in self-defence). When the killing becomes a murder enquiry, Neelix has to decide whether to dob in his friend or keep his mouth shut. It’s all a bit predictable, pedestrian and lifeless, and Neelix’s predicament is like something out of a cautionary tale for teens.

Voyager shuttles have that fancy computer beam-out tech too.

VOY S03E14 Alter Ego (). That enormous Splodge of Purple which was far too big to go around now seems to be comfortably in the rear-view mirror so either it’s very, very wide and flat, or a long time has passed since last episode. Meanwhile we have a new, more filigree splodge on the viewscreen, which everyone gets super-excited by – except Tuvok who’d rather be playing Kerplunk. Kim decides that Tuvok’s way is the way and he recruits the Vulcan to squash his emotions, because – fuck me – he’s in love with a hologram.

Neelix’s pleasure planet program has taken over from the Pool Hall of Tedium as the go-to time off destination for the crew and the object of Kim’s affections is a fairly bland nineties TV show hottie. As Kim barely has a personality, I suppose it makes sense that his dream girl wouldn’t have one either. Even Tuvok finds their encounter formulaic and he’s in the story.

When Holoblondie switches her attention to Tuvok, I despair even more. How can Tuvok of all people not see her as the bundle of people-pleasing subroutines that she evidently is? He’s got a wife and kids back in the Alpha Quadrant and these take ages to finally come up. When Tuvok tries to delete her, she goes all Moriarty. This has happened before but it seems that nobody has learned from the Enterprise-D and put in safeguards. Trivial, second-hand and often profoundly stupid, Voyager can do far better than this. It’s a particular waste of Tim Russ’s talents and he does much to prop up the ending, but the script is unsalvageable. Robert Picardo directs, poor guy.

DS9 S05E12 The Begotten (). Quark sells Odo a baby changeling in a bottle and he ends up playing wet-nurse. This is the same week that Kira is finally having Keiko’s baby, so everyone is getting used to new arrivals. Also, Shakaar exists and is dropping by to hold his girlfriend’s hand – and so is Dr Mora, the Bajoran who reared Odo. Odo tells him to back off, but he insists on staying to “observe” (which actually means interfering).

René Auberjonois is terrific here, as he always is. This character is a perfect example of the difference between personality and backstory. Being a Changeling is one element of the character, but the writing and performance layer in far more besides. The actual storyline is a bit talky and plotless, though. Kira’s labour stalls and has to be restarted too. The tug-of-love stuff between O’Brien and Shakaar is all very silly and feels like synthetic conflict. In fact, you could say the same about the presence of Mora. Odo celebrating his success with a very suspicious Quark is a much stronger scene. Quark has never seen Odo like this and neither have we. Of course, because this is Deep Space Nine, Odo can’t stay happy and so while Keiko cradles her baby, Odo’s “child” doesn’t make it. However, it manages to merge with Odo as it dies, returning his shape-shifting abilities, which seems like a low-key way to discard a very big story thread which has not ended up going anywhere very interesting. The final scene between Odo and Kira is lovely, however, with no hint of the adolescent longing that Odo was once burdened with. Now they’re just two old friends, sharing a little sadness together.

Solid Odo is a hypochondriac with bad posture.