Tom Salinsky

ENT S04E18 In a Mirror, Darkly (). As noted, this is the show which is, or was supposed to, get us from First Contact to The Cage. As such, opening with clips of the Vulcans landing and greeting Zefram Cochrane – a mix of movie footage and newly shot material – makes sense. But lo! This time, Cochrane shoots the Vulcan and the humans nick his ship, which takes us into titles glorifying war and weaponry (and sparing us “Faith of the Heart”). Every previous Mirror Universe story (which have included some five star bangers) has shown us the darker side of the Federation from the point of view of our usual goody-two-shoes characters. This time we’re just here.

Vaughan Armstrong is back as Captain Forrest, with Archer as his ambitious XO and the stage is set for a ton of malicious, moustache twirling, dark hair dye, navel-baring fun. That begins, alas, with Hoshi sexualised and disempowered, reduced to nothing more than Forrest’s floozy. Mirror Universe Kira was a bad ass. Mirror Universe Hoshi is just a piece of ass. And T’Pol just looks ridiculous in a Starfleet uniform cut under the boobs and down past the hipbone.

Mirror Universe Archer is considerably more interesting than his familiar Big Boy Scout incarnation. His seemingly self-appointed secret mission involves a trip into Tholian space, and fans of TOS should recognise that name. Having taken care of Forrest, Archer begins his rule by assembling a team of people whose names he knows. T’Pol becomes his first officer, Travis becomes his personal bodyguard, Hoshi puts on a uniform (or most of one). Once again, torture is shown to be a successful method of interrogation, which all available evidence indicates that it absolutely isn’t, but everything here is so amoral and ridiculous that it’s hard to take even that too seriously.

ENT S04E19 In a Mirror, Darkly, Part II (). The ship from the – shall we call it Cis-Universe? – is not just shorn of its goatee beard, it’s from Kirk’s time, which means we get even more fun times, as our regular characters get to run around on a recreated 1960s Enterprise set (technically, this is the Defiant). The commitment to the bit is what really sells this, with another dose of that Ain’t War Grand title sequence, the ruthlessness of the Terran Empire forces and the destruction of the NX-01. Once his stolen motor is under their control, Archer has no problem wiping out the Tholians and any web which they might care to erect.

And the nostalgia continues with Archer wearing Kirk’s wraparound green jersey (followed by everyone else getting in on the TOS-play fun), learning about the Federation and drinking Romulan ale. There’s a bellicose Gorn on the loose and we even hear Majel Barrett’s computer voice again. And while I’m not the least bit sold on evil Hoshi as a character, it’s a joy to see Linda Park allowed to spread her wings for the first time since… well ever. Anthony Montgomery only gets to point a gun and glower, of course.

It’s hard to know who to root for, as power-crazed Archer tries to return to Earth at the command of the overpowered NCC-1764, planning on making himself God Emperor King, only to have the Tholians start picking off members of the crew. But again, that’s why these alternate universe stories are so enjoyable: everything is up for grabs. If I was tempted not to give this one five stars, that reticence evaporated when Scott Bakula lolled Kirk-like in the captain’s chair. Bravo.

ENT S04E20 Demons (). RoboCop, in a very contemporary looking suit and tie, examines a Vulcan child in an incubator, which is the latest in a series of nothingburger teasers. Enterprise gotta Enterprise I suppose (the old theme is back, too, of course). But it seems as if such costumes are just what the well-dressed psychopath is wearing in 2155. The child is the timey-wimey offspring of Trip and T’Pol and somehow its presence is going to threaten the formation of the Federation.

Prime Minister Will Ferrell knows that xenophobia is still rife on Earth, following the Xindi attacks and tries to tell Archer not to be so naive as to rely on something as silly as faith of the heart. Wise words. And after 95 episodes, it’s finally time for Travis to get a storyline which doesn’t involve his immediate family. His subplot, in which an incredibly foxy ex-girlfriend throws herself bodily at him, has nothing to do with the main plot of course, but it’s nice to see Anthony Montgomery doing something other than saying “Aye sir”. I don’t entirely trust this young reporter, and I certainly don’t appreciate the many minutes of screen time she occupies with her tedious goo-goo eyes. Without that, this episode has much to recommend it, but – as is often the case with part ones – this is all build-up and no pay-off.

The hidden Star Trek metaphor of Magellan-era exploration is briefly surfaced once more, where it is blithely assumed that “orbiting” is equivalent to “nearby” and that because the Moon orbits the Earth and Mars is the next planet out from the Sun, that the Moon and Mars must always be nearby. Alas, orbital dynamics are a bit more complicated than the relative positions of say, Spain and the Cape of Good Hope.

ENT S04E21 Terra Prime (). What’s particularly exciting about this is that although it looks like a thrilling race against time adventure, it’s really a battle for the hearts and minds of humanity. Have you ever heard anything more Star Trek? RoboCop makes a splendid villain, in the grand tradition of smooth-talking psychopaths who have spent years devising their evil plan and who will stop at nothing to pull it off. And he seems to believe his own poisonous rhetoric, which gives him the terrifying single-mindedness of a true zealot. It’s strong stuff. Thankfully his super-powerful death ray focused on Enterprise seems to pass straight through it with little effect.

Unconvinced by Will Ferrell’s plan to blow to hell the superpowerful comet-redirecting array next to the occupied Martian colony, Archer plans a stealthier infiltration mission. Meanwhile, Travis’s tedious girlfriend is so desperate to ensure that no-one onboard learns her identity that she is forced to reveal her identity to… wait, run that by me one more time… As ever, all of the plot dealing with Gannet Brooks (which is her actual character name and not a silly nickname I’ve given her) is incredibly boring and silly, but there’s much less of it this time, which is good as the rest of this is excellent. Tense, well-paced, and heartfelt, with very decent character stuff for Trip and T’Pol, and even a few crumbs for Malcolm and Hoshi.

And this doesn’t tie everything up with a bow either. Trip and T’Pol lose their child. The inhabitants of Earth won’t all decide overnight that aliens are their friends. And Archer still only knows the names of six of his crew. But we’ve got past the latest stone in the road, and sometimes that’s enough.

This is also – in almost all ways that make sense – the last episode of Enterprise, its slightly truncated episode orders for Seasons 3 and 4 reducing the total number to less than the 100 normally thought to be the minimum for a syndication deal. That seems like an unnecessary kick in the groin delivered by Paramount to the team which earned them so much money over the years. But Brannon Braga (who’s still hanging around) and Rick Berman nevertheless felt like they needed to say goodbye not just to this show but to the franchise they’d built which started back in 1987. So there’s one more instalment left over…

ENT S04E22 These Are the Voyages… (). It does look like an episode of Enterprise to begin with. It’s not even clear that considerable time is supposed to have passed since Terra Prime. But almost immediately, Riker freezes the program and strides off the Holodeck. Wow.

This kind of framing story isn’t brand new for the franchise. One thinks of Living Witness from Voyager, for example, or even In the Pale Moonlight. The recreation of the Enterprise D, barely two episodes after the recreation of (in all but name) the original Enterprise, is pretty faultless – as you might expect. And it effectively enables the last few seasons of the cancelled show to be summarised in forty minutes, finally getting us to the creation of the Federation.

What’s confounding is that for the most part, this is simply an episode of Enterprise, with the usual mix of fan servicing, thrilling escapes from death, old friends reunited and thin characterisation. Quite what we gain by having a 24th century director’s commentary over these scenes is very far from clear. Simply having Frakes and Sirtis hanging around doesn’t make this feel like the summation of the whole 18-year journey, any more than a “Six Years Later” caption would have done.

So, on the one hand, this doesn’t play like the extra episode of TNG which is its reputation. On the other hand, Riker and Troi add very little, except a vague buzz of nostalgia, but I do understand Braga and especially Berman’s desire – from a personal point of view if nothing else – to sum up the entire era. And I don’t buy the bitter comments to the effect that this one story retroactively turns the previous 97 episodes into Riker’s holodeck fantasy. That’s not how TV works.

I would say that all the talk of how irreplaceable Trip is rather gives the game away regarding his fate, except that it’s made absolutely explicit that he’s going to die very early on. Bumping him off seems like a pretty sour way to add a hit of extra emotion to proceedings, and his death seems pretty pointless in the context of the overall narrative. That’s a far bigger problem than making 20% of this instalment a mild ret-con of The Pegasus (a sort Rikercrantz and Guildentroi Are Dead). Really, if we’d been allowed to hear Archer’s much-vaunted speech, this would probably be better liked. But then again, maybe the speech we imagine is better than any speech Bakula could have given – and he gave us a version of it at the end of last week’s episode anyhow. So we go out with a mash-up of the opening monologue instead. I’ll take that.

On this occasion, Riker and Troi’s costumes are holographic, unlike all those scenes in Voyager and TNG where people summoned hastily back to the bridge turn up in unlikely garments.

Season 4 wrap-up

• Right, that’s it. That’s all she wrote. With UPN imploding, Enterprise is the victim of corporate mismanagement and quietly expires, echoing the fate of TOS as it is moved to a new timeslot and then cancelled on the pretext of low ratings, following which the franchise dies with it for countless years. There would be no more new Star Trek of any kind until the first JJ Abrams film in 2009 and no more Star Trek on television until 2017.
• And, of course, it’s cancelled just when it was getting interesting. The one trick which Rick Berman never seemed to master was getting consistently entertaining episodes in year one. There’s good stuff in Season 3, but the season arc storyline hampers the narrative as often as it helps, and the fact that only T’Pol and Phlox can be relied upon to show any interiority is a persistent problem. Season 4 is better and the two and three-parters help enormously. It’s amazing to think that this was primarily a budget consideration; with less money to spend on each show, new sets needed to be amortised over multiple episodes to spread the cost.
• That said, looking at the numbers, Season 4 comes in just a shade under Season 3, 3.32 compared to 3.37, but take out the dreadful Klingon Ridgegate two-parter and the ghastly Orion Slaver episode and things would look much healthier. Enterprise as a whole averages 3.09, virtually a dead heat with Voyager, but both some way behind everything except The Animated Series.
• Another reason why Season 4 doesn’t score more highly is that T’Pol is underserved for much of it. And it’s not like Hoshi and Travis finally get some meaty storylines, because they get ignored almost as much as they have been for the previous three years. It’s just that this becomes the Archer and Trip and The Shiny Guest Stars show. Come back Michael Piller (or Ira Steven Behr).
• For all that, I did have a good time with Enterprise, on the whole. It’s still Star Trek after all, and I’m immensely struck by the crestfallen and apologetic tone of the special features on all four seasons of the Blu-ray release. Maybe if it had run the approved seven seasons, then even if Star Trek had still gone off the air, the creators would be able to look back on it with more pride. As it is, the documentaries are just hours and hours of Brannon Braga saying sorry. It’s profoundly weird.
• Also profoundly weird – I’m out of Star Trek. I have no immediate plans to continue this exercise beyond 2005. I dislike the JJ Abrams films and there’s no opportunity to put any other series into any kind of context, given that the show which kicked off the next phase of the franchise, Discovery, is still running as of this writing. So, instead, as this mission has concluded as planned on Christmas Day 2023, I am going to open some presents, drink some champagne and consider what life looks like without Kirk, Spock, Picard, Data, Sisko, Kira, Janeway, Seven, Archer and T’Pol to keep me company any more.
• Thank you for reading. Live long and prosper.